Nighttime Comics Take Aim At Trump's Controversial 'Gold Card' Visa Plan
Television's leading entertainers used their airtime ridiculing former President Donald Trump's newly announced visa initiative, labeled the "golden visa," describing it as a blatant cash-for-residency system for the rich.
Colbert's Witty Spin
Opening his show, Stephen Colbert presented a mock holiday tune directed at the commander-in-chief. "He is compiling a list, reviewing it twice, and then giving that list to the people at ICE," he crooned. "The President ... ruins everything he handles."
The subject was the new program which enables international citizens to purchase U.S. residence for the price of one million dollars, or "top-tier" tier for $5 million. A government portal pledges processing "with unprecedented speed."
"A brief message for you to wealthy applicants: before you pay, what about Canada?" Colbert remarked.
He explained that the program is also meant to "extract cash" from firms looking to hire skilled workers, involving significant costs. "That is a lot of fees, though if you register, you also get a complimentary stay at a property of your selection – as long as it's the Tampa Marriott Bonvoy," he continued.
"Unprecedented screening the government has before done," said Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "a $15,000 vetting to make sure these applicants absolutely qualify to be in America."
"That is important, you gotta prove you're fit to be an American," Colbert responded. "The initial query: how many hamburgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"
Jimmy Kimmel's Scathing Critique
On his late-night program, Jimmy Kimmel referred to the initiative the "American Dream Express Card."
"This is a card that will let rich overseas citizens to live here," he said. "In exchange for a million bucks, you get legal visitor status, you get a pathway to citizenship, and a presidential pardon for one significant crime of your selection."
"Maybe it's time to revise that message on the Statue of Liberty – never mind your tired masses. Hand over a million bucks, you're in!" he remarked.
Kimmel lampooned the brevity of the form, noting it is "harder to start a Wordle account." He lamented that Trump "sees citizenship is something you can sell, like a condo."
"Indeed, the best people are the rich people," Kimmel joked. "It's what Jesus always said! Read it in the Bible. He says it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle provided that you pay the needle a million dollars."
Seth Meyers discussing Grocery Struggles
Elsewhere, Seth Meyers focused on Trump's plunging approval numbers amid economic concerns. "The public gave Donald Trump a second term because they were mad about the economy," he said.
This week, in a attempt to discuss prices, Trump held a press conference in front of a selection of grocery items, where he behaved oddly to boxes of cereal.
"What a nice job, I think I'm going to take some of them with me to my cottage and have a lot of fun," Trump remarked. "Such as the Cheerios, I haven't had Cheerios in a while."
"He's so incredibly weird," Meyers reacted. "Like, you're going to take them home to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What are you gonna do with those Cheerios?"
Meyers finished by criticizing right-leaning media defenses of Trump's economic performance. "Perhaps rather than voicing concerns, you should give him a sparkling trophy similar to the one FIFA did," he laughed.
